United Horsemen 6/11/2011, Paraphrased

In today’s effort to protect my sanity exercise my humor bone, I decided to paraphrase an open letter from the United Horsemen organization written by Sue Wallis, part-time Wyoming State Representative and full-time, ehm, fiction writer. Here’s what I got. (Certainly, if I were to do something like this again, I’d hope for a better mark-up editor than Adobe Acrobat. Brrr.)

Priscilla Arrives

"Hay is OK when served through the fence."

Why did it have to rain the night our little pink burro came home, leaving puddles in her pen? But today the clouds come and go, giving way to expanses of baby blue skies and the comfort of a mild springtime sun, and the puddles will soon dry.

Priscilla would rather be with the horses than me, but I want her to think I’m a worthy companion and the horses are too much competition.

I had considered bringing donkeys here for some years, thinking they might keep the coyotes away from the mini-horses, chickens and other assorted fowl. Coyotes have been rough on our chicken population, grabbing hens when they come down from the trees and leaving our favorite rooster’s head lying on an irrigation berm, tragically divested of its body. We try to keep the chickens in coops at night but one slip-up, one missed night, and bang, the coyotes dine again.

Lagan and Smokey: "Who's the new kid?"

So a burro seemed like a good idea. When we learned that the BLM was hosting a wild horse and burro adoption during the Lost Dutchman Days celebration in nearby Apache Junction, the time seemed right, and a delicate young female burro with the odd color description “pink” stuck in my mind after the first day’s viewing.

It might be a few years before Priscilla grows up to become a Great Coyote Warrioress but she’ll be a fine companion for the mini-horses and a great way for her academic “mom” to learn more about equines.

Priscilla and Spirit Meet
Priss: "Your ears look funny." Spirit: "No, YOUR ears look funny."
Priscilla and Coco Meet
Priss: "Make no mistake - I'll soon be running this place, Shorty." Coco: "SNIFF."